Half gone, half left

The arrival of the half of my exchange came so unexpectedly I didn’t even think of writing about it until the day (2nd february) fell upon me – being that why I’m a few days late with this post. Time goes by strangely here… it has no specific measure anymore, it has become even a more abstract concept while gaining so much meaning and importance.

Seize very long minute of learning, enjoy every hour looking by the window train, never waste moments of opportunity, wait years for the weekend and lose track of it between friends and adventures… Never has it been truer saying that times goes by flying during the most amazing moments and that it drags by slowly when you’re waiting for something to arrive.

I think all of us (exchange students) look back into those first 5 months and ask ourselves where have they gone. When? Those first few days seem at the reach of hand but everything that happened feels like clear, imprinted memories of a 80-year-old.

With only the half of “this life” left I’m extremely scared, and extremely excited. Scared of it going away in a blur, swallowing the precious moments and running away from the things I still have left to do; I’m excited because the difficulties from the initial adaptation are now mostly gone and what is left it squeezing everything out from this adventure: traveling near or far, spending time with my host family, friends and new people, eating lots of crepes, baguettes, fondue and raclette, biking around my little medieval town, enjoying some of my french literature classes.

I’m also scared of going back leaving the life I worked so hard to build, knowing a part of me will always stay here, scared of really coming to the realisation life still went by while I was gone, seeing the things I’ve missed and how my loved ones have changed, how I have changed, going through yet another cultural, emotional and I even dare saying, physical shock. But my heart swells at the anticipation of being asphyxiated by the hugs of my family and friends, of filling them with my stories and hearing theirs, telling them how wonderful it is here but also how badly our land, our country, our culture are undervalued by us Paraguayans, but being away made me really realize how special they are.

I’m extremely scared and extremely excited, but I’m glad I am;  you can only feel both, in such measure, in the counted life changing moments we get on Earth.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s