Never have I really understood the joy and fuzz about the arrival of spring, I mean … I had an idea thanks to movies and books; but Paraguay is a country where you can barely distinguish two seasons: VERY hot and well, less hot. Before coming here I thought I loooved winter, now I know: I like winter … for a month. The cold made of me an unmotivated, sleepy and crappy eating teenager (I know these can be easy adjectives to the word “teenager”, but belive me, it was out of control). It also made me look like a ridiculous ball of clothing. Basically an hibernating mama bear. So after 3 months of cold windy winter with short hours of clouded sunlight and a gray dead landscape, the sudden sprout of spring felt like coming back to life, taking in a big mouthful of fresh grass-smelling air.
Suddenly the land got covered of almost neon green grass, trees spit out newborn leaves and beautiful flowers, the clouds ran from the blinding power of the sun and in parks, roses and children and people and dogs made an appearance.
School grows more and more unbearable as looks are stolen away by the blue brightness peeking through the windows. It seems like such a waste to be spending my last – and such beautiful – months inside four walls. Four walls that don’t seem to contribute to my learning anymore. Now that I can manage myself pretty well in french and that I know there is not a high chance of a change or an addition happening to my friendships here, attendance seems useless.
As in relationships, it feels already like the ending, the closing paragraph of my exchange is being written and there is nothing else to do than to recapitulate. I have made the ties I had to, and each of those are as strong and as close as they need to be. I’m happy on how things turned out and I don’t feel the need to change them. Of course that at some point I felt frustrated as I failed to integrate some “cool kids” group I admired; I think that happens to almost everyone who is new to a place, but I got close to wonderful people I didn’t expect to, and was surprised when hearing what felt like honest statements of “how I’m going to miss you when you go back”. I didn’t trust myself on getting as close of what seems as unreachable european hearts to a Latin-American, someone coming from a place where it is sooo easy to make friends. I got lucky though, I found people who don’t apply to this “unreacheable” heart stereotype or to be able to somehow get to these kind of hearts, now knowing I have a guaranteed place in them. Alors merci beaucoup a ces qui je peux appeller mes amis. Vous savez qui vous êtes.
The sighting of soon to come adventures under the spring spirit, adds to the sense of uselessness of school. Lessons become repetitive with my classmates reviewing for the BAC, their biiiiiiiig streeeeesssinggg life-defining final exam, and my patience has been consumed by aggravating classes of spanish (uh nothing new for me to learn there) and english, for their level is considerably low… Mme. Maigrot and Mme. Cuartiella if you are reading this: you guys are awesome if it wasn’t for you, at this point, I would probably not even go to my english classes.
“Spring break” is near and with it some very, very cool plans. This is the start of the final stage of the exchange, when (at least for us AFS France kids) you are finally allowed to travel to other countries, you are also more free to travel inside France, and maybe more trusted by your host family; so we are just desperately trying to fit in all the activities we can in a short agenda. Anxiety slowly creeps in seeing how time slides away… All those places we still need to see, the people we still need to meet, the things to experience. But we are doing our best to enjoy these last months, trying not to let in those melancholic thoughts of how we are going to miss this and that.
So stay tuned, because big adventures are coming. Pretty sure you don’t want to miss what I might tell you next.
XOXO. Gossip Girl.
(Sorry, couldn’t help myself, it fits so well to the dramatic suspenseful ending)